This October, we will be celebrating our 2nd Anniversary. Yep, we've made it to 2 years.
It's been pretty quiet if I'm honest. After the hustle and bustle of the wedding, there's been no dramas; I think the most exciting thing has been painting the bathroom...
I like to think myself and my hubbie have a relaxed and low key approach to marriage, which will (hopefully) make it last for years to come, so I thought I'd share a few tips I've learnt so far...
This is the best lesson I've learnt in marriage so far. Is it really the end of the world if his scraggly old teddy has to be on show in the bedroom? Is the world going to end if he likes to eat his dinner on the sofa? No, it's not. Compromise is key.
It's called 'Do It Yourself' for a reason. We've quickly learnt that my husband cannot decorate. At all. This has lead to some irate arguments in the past. So as mentioned earlier, I painted our bathroom myself and would recommend this approach to decorating to any couple. Find out who has the most talent with a paint brush and leave it to them. I turned the radio up, and painted my heart out for the weekend. Completely. Argument. Free.
We take it in turns to make breakfast in the mornings and we do the food shop on a Sunday. Without sounding boring, routines can help so much!
One cooks and one clears up, that's how it works in our house. It's clear and it's fair. If you leave everything to one person, that person is going to end up hating life. In our house, it's my husband that cooks 90% of the time, simply because he gets home earlier than me. So Chris prefers to cook, and I much prefer to clean up afterwards. Happy days.
This is an easy one, because it's a well known fact that I'm an awful driver. For long journeys, Chris will drive... (long being more than a 10 mile radius from our house). I'm not a huge drinker either, so I will usually play taxi on a night out. If you both like a drink, I'd suggest sorting out who's going to drive before the event. This way, there's no awkward arguments when he's had two beers and a you're on your third Pina-colada.
Keeping Things Tidy
This is perhaps one of the most discussed marriage topics. How many arguments have you had with your other half about their dirty socks being left on the floor, or who's turn it is to put the bin out. I really think there's a simple answer to this...just pull your weight! We all have that little niggle in our head telling us to "Do it tomorrow..." but I've found it's so much better to just do it and get it out of the way. A try to spend 15 minutes each weeknight simply putting things away, folding up the washing, tidying up the post etc. This way, it's easy to stay on top of things.
You're either an organised person, or you're not. You need someone to book the flights to Spain, to check you're not in your overdraft (again) or to keep track of your next dentist appointment. It's important to stay organised. Check your bank weekly, deal with that paperwork now, write everything in a calendar and communicate to each other. Your brain will thank you, as will your partner.
I can't stand it when couples text each other every 10 minutes....I mean, really? Don't get me wrong, I love to get a text maybe once a day, but you've gotta leave something to talk about when you get home. I also think letting your other half know where you are really helps too! My hubby used to get really annoyed when I worked late without telling him. So now I just drop him a quick text to update him or call him when I'm on my way home. Remember, there's not just you in your relationship. It's also super important not to bottle things up... you should be able to talk to your partner about anything.
This is definitely my downfall. To make cash a little easier, we each have our own bank account which we use for spending and saving, we then have a joint account where all our bills and monthly expenses are drawn from. I update a spreadsheet regularly which tells me how much should be going into our shared account. Chris is very good at saving, and...well, I'm not. If you're both saving towards something, set up standing orders with your bank. This will make sure you save what you planned to. Also make sure you pay for joint items (i.e sofas, meals or holidays) fairly, each paying half.
I hear couples bickering and fighting all the time. Some people can be so nasty! Everyone's entitled to be annoyed every once in a while, but I've certainly learnt to try and think before I speak. Remind yourself why you fell in love with your partner originally. And as Thumper's Mom says in Bambi "If you ain't go nothin' nice to say, then don't say nothin' at all."
There's nothing worse than that couple at the supermarket checkout kissing and cuddling every 2 seconds, but simple things like holding hands, or smiling at each other across the room can make such a difference. A cuddle solves everything.
Just don't do it.
So that's it. It's a longer post than I'd imagined, but once I started...I couldn't stop!
Do you have any tips, that have worked for your marriage? If so, tweet me @lifebylooby.